The title might make you smile (Rich Grandma Energy: And the Death of the Girl Boss, Amazon link) but the book is enjoyable, short and easy to read. The format is very American, but I genuinely like the mindset of this entrepreneur, who founded her own communications agency. I actually found her while searching for a silk robe brand, hahaha (she wears one all the time).
Physically, she’s your typical American influencer, but what she says carries real depth, hidden beneath a light and simple tone. What I love about her is her boldness: she dares everything, tests everything, embodies what she preaches, always has ideas and executes them quietly, without announcing things three years in advance. A few examples that speak for themselves: she coded an app using AI to promote her personal development program Soft60; she left the rat race right after a divorce to launch her own agency, lost weight along the way; and since her book is self-published (making Audible impossible), she simply recorded the audiobook herself and put it on her website as a downloadable MP3. Simple and effective. She also has a really interesting video on jealousy, which she encourages treating as a signal rather than suppressing: if someone makes you jealous, it’s because you want what they have. And the best response? Go ask them directly how they got there.
What I love about this type of personality is the consistency between words and life. And also this particular relationship with social media: she turned it into a second career, without ever losing touch with the business world. Far from the fully disconnected influencer living in a bubble.
Anyway, I think her little book is an easy read. It’s not great literature, and it’s not your typical self-help either. It’s a distillation of what she shares on social media. It speaks to women on the edge of burnout, or waiting for a long-overdue promotion, or looking for a push to become an entrepreneur after years as an employee. The idea is to shift your mindset, regulate your nervous system to move out of survival mode and activate the parasympathetic nervous system => achieving success without burning out.
Here’s an excerpt from my favorite chapter: Chapter 6.
CHAPTER SIX
The Robe Theory
The robe theory is simple: luxury isn’t about what you can afford. It’s about how you treat yourself when no one is watching.
A woman in a silk robe, drinking coffee alone in her kitchen at 6am, is practicing a frequency. The frequency of “I deserve beauty even when there’s no audience for it.” That frequency changes everything.
This is where most women get it wrong. They think luxury is performance. The designer bag, the expensive car, the vacation photos. Things you acquire to signal status to other people. But that’s not luxury. That’s insecurity wearing a price tag.
Real luxury is what you do when no one is looking. It’s the silk sheets you sleep in alone. The fresh flowers you buy yourself on Tuesday. The expensive face cream you use, even though you’re just staying home. The way you set the table for one. The music you play while you’re cleaning. The time you take getting ready, even when you have nowhere to go.
This matters because luxury, real luxury, recalibrates your nervous system. It tells your body, “We are safe, we are provided for, we are valued.” And when your nervous system believes that, your frequency shifts. You stop operating from scarcity. You stop grasping. You stop performing.
You start assuming.
I learned this accidentally. I was burnt out, exhausted from years of girl boss performance, and I did something I’d never done before. I bought a silk robe.
Not for anyone else. Not because I had somewhere to be or someone to impress. Just because I wanted it.
The first morning I put it on, I felt ridiculous. It was 6am, I was alone in my apartment, and I was wearing a three-hundred-dollar robe to drink coffee and check emails. It felt excessive. Unnecessary. Too much.
But something shifted. I sat differently. I moved differently. I felt different. Not because the robe gave me power, but because choosing beauty for myself, with no external justification, was an act of self-worth I’d never practiced before.
Most women only give themselves luxury after they’ve earned it. After the promotion. After hitting a goal. After proving they deserve it. But that’s still performance. That’s still looking outside yourself for permission to treat yourself well.
The robe theory says you don’t need permission. You don’t need to earn beauty. You give it to yourself first, and then everything else follows.
This is about nervous system regulation, not materialism. When you live in a state of constant deprivation, telling yourself you’ll treat yourself well later, once you’ve achieved enough or earned enough or become enough, your body stays in survival mode. And survival mode is the frequency of scarcity. Of fear. Of not enough.
You can’t build an empire from scarcity. You can’t access power from fear. You can’t operate with certainty when your nervous system is screaming “We’re not safe yet.”
Luxury, even small luxury, tells your nervous system, “we’re safe now.” And safety is where power lives.
